Diary of a born again wiccan

Malawi

2011-06-08T20:30:00.002-05:00

Reading through my last post on Malawi, it is apparent that what I wrote was a daily journal of my travels which really did not convey my lived experience as an American in Malawi. Where or how do I begin? I begin this journey in the office of Ministry of Hope, listening to the board of members talk about their ideas for higher education for the orphans left in their care, hearing the crow of the roosters outside the office, smelling the wood burning stoves, reminding me that I am indeed in Africa. Traversing the winding, flood filled roads as we prepare for our mobile medical clinic, I wonder what is ahead... how many people will we see? What will be the most common diagnoses? And how will we address primary prevention for many of these diseases? Malaria and pneumonia were the most common diagnoses at both mobile medical clinics. The two questions that I raise is how are we addressing primary prevention for malaria and pneumonia and how is HIV being addressed? Because, from my perspective, HIV is not being addressed at all. Not one test for HIV was conducted while we were in the rural villages. Thus, again, HIV and AIDS take a back seat to other health care issues, while HIV/AIDS is one of the leading causes of death in Malawi. It is so frustrating, knowing that individuals are not receiving necessary care for a disease that, although is not curable, is now considered a chronic disease...
Addressing malaria - why are we not teaching about clean water supply and sanitation? If organizations continue to diagnose and treat Malaria as they are doing, eventually there will be resistance to the current medical therapy and then how will we address this public health issue? It seems that it would be more conducive to the health of the public in these rural villages to educate individuals about malarial prevention and to provide the necessary supplies to support such endeaovors.

Malawi Healthcare Mission

2011-04-07T20:33:00.014-05:00

It has been two weeks since I returned from our trip to Malawi. It has taken this time to reflect upon our trip; to make sense of what we accomplished and areas that I would like to see grow. I went as a faculty member for 7 senior nursing students for their International Elective. In our group were 3 nurses - myself, our team leader - who has gone on over 10 medical missions and international relief work, and a graduate student - who had previously gone on a medical mission trip to Africa; 7 senior nursing students; and one pre-med student (who has since changed her major to nursing. We partnered with a local organization in Malawi, Ministry of Hope, that provides care to orphans who are infants and toddlers, primary care to four rural villages, and has developed sustainable programs to support the care and education of orphans through primary, secondary, and college education.
Where to begin. We landed in Lilongwe, the capital of Malawi on a Friday afternoon. After an hour of waiting for our colleagues from MOH (Ministry of Hope) to pick us up, as there was miscommunication about the arrival time, our colleagues arrived with a huge bus that easily held us and our luggage. We loaded up our luggage and boarded, looking forward to a nap at the guest house, not realizing that we would spend close to two hours at the local shopping center, waiting for our team member to exchange money. We had brought over 15,000 dollars to be exchanged for lodging, food, clinic supplies, meds, and support staff, and miscellaneous. As the exchange rate was approximately 150 Kwachaa to 1 dollar and 500 kwachaa was the largest denomination, the exchange kiosk quickly ran out of money and we had to wait until travelers exchanged dollars to kwachaa for us to obtain the necessary kwachaa. We finally made our way to Nelly's Guest House for dinner and sleep.
Saturday we awoke to the sound of roosters crowing and the smell of wood-burning stoves - yes, I am in Africa, finally- and prepared for an adventure at Mvuu National Park. We set out in our bus, everyone excited to be in Africa. Although we were told that it was a two hour drive to Mvuu, we quickly realized that it would take longer as the two lane highway was inundated with bicyclists, who were not in a race, but carrying their goods from their village to the market, and donkey/horse/cow driven contraptions, hauling goods for the market. As we drove towards the safari in the national park, many of us needed to use the bathroom. We stopped at a convenience store, with a bathroom in the background. Despite my experiences with an outhouse in South Africa, I was startled to find that said bathroom at a local "Quik Trip" was indeed a hole in the ground, covered by a wooden plank. But, when you have to go, you go, despite the smell, the "graffiti" on the wall. We finally arrived at the safari, after being stopped by the police for speeding. Three police officers, standing attention in their starched uniforms, made all of us nervous and we quickly put away our cameras. The safari was interesting - hippos grazing in our front lawn of our tent cabin, crocodiles slowly swimming in the river, monkeys playing, and impalas and kudus regally standing still as we slowly navigated the national park.
Monday, we met with the staff from Ministry of Hope, with roosters crowing in the background - again a sound I associate with being in Africa and one that makes me very happy, for some reason, particularly when it is associated with the smell of a wood burning stove. We spent time with the infants at the crisis nursery, holding, caring, and loving them. We were on African time in the afternoon, as we assured that we had the requisite licenses to be in Malawi.... 2 hours spent to make sure none of us practiced outside of our scope of practice. Given the lack of health care in Malawi, this seems ridiculous, but standards are standards....
Tuesday, we went to a rural village, as part of the mobile med clinic with Ministry of Hope, seeing over 250 patients for the day. The most common diagnoses were malaria, pneumonia, and upper respiratory infections. Despite our efforts, malaria is likely to be the most prevalent diagnosis next month, as we are not providing primary prevention - educating the community on ways to prevent malaria.
Wednesday we spent providing love and care to the orphans at the crisis nursery and later haggling for goods at the local market. Rule of thumb for purchasing souvenirs is that you should only pay 1/2 of what is offered. Being the less than stellar student of haggling, when the curio salesperson stated that a wooden elephant was 3500 kwachaa, I stated that I could not pay that. He asked what I would offer. I quickly offered 3000 kwachaa. A resounding "Okay" was stated. Fuck. Now, I had to pay 3000 kwachaa, far more than I should pay. He made a tidy profit today. And, no we were not cheating the curio salesmen. Souvenirs at the airport gift shop were far less expensive than the goods sold at the local market, without having to haggle about the price. However, poverty is rampant and these salesman were not trying to be dishonest, but simply wanting to make money for their families. Thus the ethical problem with purchasing souvenirs in Malawi - wanting to be supportive of the local population, but not developing a precedent that tourists will pay "full" price for goods that are not worth the "market price".
Thursday, we toured a rural hospital, a hospital that is incredibly progressive by Malawi standards. This hospital has the first palliative care unit in any hospital in Malawi and is developing electronic health records to be implemented in the next five years. However, the significant nursing shortage is apparent. In the pediatric unit, there is 3 nurse for 100 patients on a good day. The global nursing shortage has made an impact on health care in Malawi. Nurses do not make as much money there and leave the country for better paying jobs. It is a world wide conundrum, but has particularly hit hard the health care delivery systems in Africa. It makes me wonder about the ethics of promoting jobs abroad when there is an incredible need for educated nurses in such poor countries in Africa.
Finally, Friday, we went to another rural village to provide primary care, again with Ministry of Hope. Given the state of the dirt roads, it was easy to understand why the team could not travel to the villages during the rainy season. There were many instances in which I was unsure that our bus would make it through the huge potholes and pools of water created by the rain. I have so much respect for the Ministry of Hope clinical staff, who provide care to four rural villages every month from April to October. They do this repeatedly, seeing patients every month, providing care with few local resources. Driving up to the village, we were greeted by hundreds of individuals waiting to be seen. Individuals who had walked miles from smaller villages, with babies on their backs, children at their side, vegetables as offerings to the staff for services rendered, and individuals brought in horse-driven carts because they could not walk to the clinic due to acute medical issues. It was overwhelming initially, wondering how we could offer care, but we did. We made a difference in this one moment. And that probably is enough.
We cared and the community also cared for their community and us, Americans who, for many, were a novelty. There is an African saying: Umuntu, ubuntu, nabanye bantu. A person is a person through other people. Ubuntu is about caring for other people and it was certainly present in how we were embraced by the Ministry of Hope staff and the rural community members.

Books reviews: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - Pure Drivel

2011-02-05T16:19:00.005-06:00

I am increasingly amazed at the mindless and stupid comments that are posted on Amazon in response to thoughtful, constructive critiques of new literature (and I am using the word literature loosely in this case). So, several individuals have posted less than glowing reviews about the latest financial venture by Ree Drummond, Black Heels to Tractor Wheels: A Love Story. And the responses to these critiques are laughable, yet anger provoking. The stupid people posting these comments make statements such as "you are a sourpuss". Really? Really?? How does a book review make someone a sourpuss?
Are the comments written by Ree herself or individual within her inner circle - pretending to be multiple people? Or are there really that many women out there that are so in love with Ree's fantasy life that they become irrational when reading any comment or review that does not support Ree's blog or books?
I personally would be embarrassed to have my name associated with such drivel as Black Heels to Tractor Wheels: A Love Story. But maybe that is because if I was going to write a novel, I would ensure that the readability level was at least at the 12th grade reading level, as I would want to market my novel to adults and not elementary school children. I would also try to tackle some important philosophical constructs that seem to be lacking in many current literary works, to provoke a thoughtful analysis by the reader or at least write in a captivating style that engages the reader so that he or she cannot put down the book. Both which are keenly lacking in this "novel". But that is just me.
I should go back on Amazon and read the critiques posted about novels such as Crime and Punishment, Little Bee, or The Power of One and see if there are any comments posted to the reviewers that are as stupid as the comments posted to 1-star reviews for Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. My guess is that there are not such stupid comments provided. Because these novels were written by.... you guessed it... individuals who can truly write and do not have a mindless following who jump at any opportunity to defend their Queen.

Farmer's Market

2010-08-03T22:49:00.006-05:00

I am again confused by certain articles published in my local newspaper. It would seem that the journalists/writers do not know about the topic of which they purportedly write. In the FYI food section about the local farmers markets and new cookbooks that SHOWCASE recipes using local produce, the journalists/writers provided a recipe for a fresh corn salad. My first thought was that the key ingredient would be corn from the cob, provided by a local farmer. The first ingredient in the recipe was CANNED CORN. Pardon me if I am being a bit obtuse here, but CANNED CORN for a farmer's market fresh corn salad? Am I missing something? When did canned corn replace fresh corn on the cob on the ingredient list for a Farmer's Market salad? If the said "journalists" wanted to modify the recipe, should they have not stated that their recipe had been changed to include canned vegetables? What exactly is the point of providing a headline story on eating locally if you are going to change the recipes from Farmer's Market cookbooks that will provide recipes to consumers to support local farmers when you add or change ingredients that can be bought at a supermarket?

Umuntu, ubuntu, bayanye bantu

2010-03-11T20:27:00.005-06:00

I wrote a comment on TWCs under the essay about intolerance that I want to share here on my own blog, with a readership of possibly 3. I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Mpumalanga province, South Africa in 2002/2003. For ten weeks, I lived with a host family in a township. The love and generosity of our families towards us volunteers was absolutely amazing. And it was not because we were Americans coming to SA to "do good". It was because of a deep seeded belief inherent to the tribal communities (Siswati, Zulu, Ndebele, etc):Umuntu, ubuntu, nabanye bantu. A person is a person through other people.
This week, I keep thinking about this way of being, way of living, a worldview perhaps that is so seemingly simple, yet so vital to our maintaining civility at the very least. A person is a person through other people is about valuing other people - if we cannot value our own humanity, drawn from our experiences of engaging with other people, our own lives are diminished. Ubuntu is about being human - being compassionate and being open to others. ... So, long winded story short, as a well known blogger with a huge following , PW has NOT at all upheld this basic tenet of Ubuntu. And although the language may be different, this concept certainly translates to all cultures, all societies. It is a basic tenet of human decency. We do not live in isolation of others. We are brothers and sisters through our humanity, our living our lives through the lives of other humans. PW should have supported Mrs. G, before the hatred began, but particularly when such hatred occured on Mrs. G's TURF. To proffer a vapid comment buried in the midst of hundreds of comments rather than writing a separate essay standing by her "inner circle friend" is cowardly, dishonest, and unethical. After my very long, rambling discourse, my answer, is as a blogger, particularly one who has contributors to the blog site, one has the responsibility, if not, from a legal perspective, but more importantly, from an ethical perspective, to address comments that are hateful. It is not just the nature of the beast. Calling an individual at home is NOT anonymous sheniagans. That is harrassment.... Attacking an individual's children is NOT anonymous sheniagons. That is harrassment. THat is not the nature of the beast. That steps over the lines of basic decency and an ethical display of interactive discourse of an online discussion....

Letter to the editor of the local newspaper

2010-02-12T21:16:00.003-06:00

I truly desire to understand better your proclivity for publishing letters written by ignorant individuals. Is it that you are truly attempting to provide a medium for freedom of speech, through the written word of your editorial section, even if the written word printed in your newspaper often reflects racism, classism, discrimination, and worse yet, uneducated, un-researched letters written by individuals , whom I suspect are living in a glass bubble? I suppose that you should be given credit for providing a medium in which everyone has the opportunity to voice their opinions. And further, truth be told, I do have some admiration for these folks that freely publish their weak, superficial, and often, wrong opinions about the state of affairs in our midwestern city, state, and country. They seem blissfully unaware of how ignorant their letters read. Rarely, do I find anything that is of intellectual substance discussed regarding national or global affairs.
But, I digress. I have not taken it upon myself to send a letter voicing my opinion on several key issues that have infiltrated the editorial section of the newspaper. So I must give kudos to those who actually do write and send a letter to the editor, as it seems that I am either too scared to put myself out there, voicing my opinion, or I am too lazy to actually sit down and compose an articulate letter, based on facts and not emotions.
I do have to point out one letter, written out of ignorance and unsubstantiated emotion (I think) that pissed me off. It was not necessarily her letter than provoked such anger; rather it was the ideology represented by her written words that sparked outrage within me. She spoke disparingly of the cultural diversity in the US. Rather than see the beauty in such diversity that is the rich texture of a tapestry of openness, tolerance, and that embraces all cultures, she spoke of ethnocentrism.
First, her ethnocentric opinion that everyone that lives in the US should speak English. Although given our overwhelming propensity for not tackling other languages in our educational system, and as such, none of us are fluent in multiple languages, unlike most peoples living in other countries, I understand why having a requisite knowledge of English would assist individuals in navigating through complex situations here in the US. However, I do not think that we should believe it necessary to force the English language on everyone. If we deem it necessary to have one common language in the US, should we not think about one of the indigenous languages common to the peoples from whom we essentially stole this land?
Secondly, her ethnocentrism regarding cultural norms and values. Not everyone who moves to the US seeks to uphold the cultural values and norms of the Caucasian population of European descent. Not everyone is seeking to live in a bland neighborhood in a beige house with an SUV parked in the driveway. Many individuals, families, and groups moved here to avoid persecution, political unrest, and genocide (at worst) and want to ensure that their culture remains intact.
Lastly, her ethnocentric argument that the US is the most generous nation in the world and the best place to live. I would argue that we do financially provide support to many other countries, as do many other financially stable, "developed" countries. I would argue that at an individual level, there are so many Americans that are generous, through their volunteer work, their philanthropy. But, I also argue against us being the most generous nation in the world. We provide financial stability,within our own terms, particularly when values come into play. We seek out our best interests (and, for most, who would not?) and what we provide may have stipulations that are not always in the best interest for others. Having lived in another country, a country considered third world by many, despite its affluent cities, and having a sister that lives in a country in Europe, I would argue that the US may not be the best place to live. It is a wonderful place to live for many. I can speak to that. I am living the American dream. I am a professional, in school to further my education, own a house (albeit a very small house), and do not lack for anything. But there are many struggling, barely surviving, and for those who came here to find that dream, it is often unrealized, because they are not really welcomed here, thus they will face mountains to get ahead, to try to find this intangible American dream that is grounded in an ethnocentric ideology stemming from a population of individuals that take pride in being descendents of the Europeans that basically took this land from an indigenous population.
Yours truly,
Skaterbol
P.S. I really do not understand why you would interview an individual who worked at a retail store that specialized in furs? Did you not get the message that furs were politically incorrect?

2009-03-28T20:21:00.003-05:00

So I would like to know what the fuck the newspaper is thinking printing the Spring Fashion edition, with dresses that cost between 300 and 1200 dollars? That last time I checked, there was a recession going on. Maybe, just maybe, most of us cannot afford a fucking spring dress that cost upwards of a hundred dollars, let alone 300 to 1200. Maybe, despite our bank statements that suggest we have less than 5oo dollars in savings (and that is possibly being generous for many folks trying to buy food for their family, pay the utilities, ensure the family has some semblance of healthcare, and pay the mortgage - fuck, I forgot that you may not be paying that because your company has downsized and you are now out of a job), we would like to look chic this spring. And, wow, this is a no-brainer, we probably are going not going to be doling out the money for a 1200 dollar dress, spiced up with 300 dollar shoes and a cute little pocket sized clutch that further puts us back another 200 dollars.
Is it too much to ask that the fashion editors at the local newspaper may try to incorporate into the spring fashion edition some outfits that actually can be bought at stores, such as - gasp - Target, Old Navy, and maybe even, Fashion Gods take a chill pill here, thrift stores?? Would not the creative genious of the fashion editors be better used creating chic, retro designs that are not only economically practical, but as well, ecologically viable? You know, that weird, abstract concept of recycling, which can actually be used with clothes and shoes. In our throw away society, the seamstress and shoe repair man(w0man) must be hard pressed for work, given our propensity to toss aside any item that has a tear or a scratch, replacing it with a new, shiny object made through the hands of individuals without faces in sweatshops far away from our comfortable life here in middle and upper class America. And yes, that place may only be a few blocks away, but we will never see it, for it is glossed over, made to be unimportant, the desolate lives lived there minimized so that we do not have to feel bad, in our comfortable suburban lives.
So fashion editors of the newspapers and magazines, I send to you a potentially monumental task.... create a fashion layout that incorporates clothes that the everyday woman struggling to keep a job, raise a family, and try to look devine, can BUY.... Absolve yourselves of the haute coutour world and step down to our world. Spice it up, use your creativity, and bring to us that have absolutely no fashion sense a little bit of chicness on a non-chic budget.

History in the making

2008-11-08T00:01:00.002-06:00

It has been difficult to stay away from my blog this week, wanting to capture the hope of the American people, yet not reduce the significance of this election to yet another blog entry filled with cliches.... Yet I keep returning to this page hoping to write something that will speak for all of us who have had great hopes for a new government, one that is guided by integrity, honesty, and HOPE. That word keeps seeping into my writing. But there is now hope in our nation, through the leadership of a man who in many ways has fought against all odds to become our new president elect.... There is hope... that maybe we can cross this bridge of racism and finally recognize individuals for their strengths, for their weaknesses, without looking at the color of their skin. There is hope that we can provide healthcare to everyone in this country, without asking for an insurance card, without trying to piece together a fragmented system of care that bandaids the problems and does not address the person as a whole.... There is hope that maybe we will carve out a better educational system for our children that prepares them to succeed in this chaotic world, rather than allow them to graduate from an educational system with functional illiteracy that promotes their failure in our society. There is hope that the lower socioeconomic class can rise above poverty to become more successful participants in our society, instead of being relegated to the bottom tier of a economically and societally biased community. There is hope, much hope for a new America...

Fulbright

2008-02-26T18:36:00.003-06:00

I have been vacillating about applying for a Fulbright to study in South Africa. Different reasons for wanting to stay in the Kansas City area, but, ultimately, one should always seek that which really is going to provide life-long fulfillment.... And staying here in Kansas City will always leave me with questions about what out there in the world did I miss....
A friend of mine wrote a song aptly titled "No Regrets", speaking about his life and not having any regrets. I think that if I let go of this chance, I will always have regrets. Maybe, likely, I will not be awarded a Fulbright scholarship, however, if I do not do it - if I do not apply, I think I will always have some regret for not seeking out that which has been so important to me.... To return to South Africa, in hopes of making some difference...

Delicious food

2008-01-05T20:01:00.000-06:00

This is not going to transform into a food blog, as the born again wiccan is decidely not a good cook... However, once in awhile, I can manage to create something that tastes pretty damn good... About a year ago when the good Dr. Cocoa Puffs and the guitar hero were visiting, we made a simple rice dish. Since their visit, I have made said dish several times, always surprising myself by how delicious it is.
So here goes....
1 box of rice pilaf, plain or with almonds
1 onion or several small shallots
Several garlic cloves or if you are lazy like myself, garlic infused olive oil
1 - 2 Japanese eggplant
1 large zucchini
Herbs - tonight I used basil, rosemary, and thyme. But we have also used a bit of cumin for a slightly more spicy dish
Salt & pepper
Pine nuts

Prepare rice pilaf per box. Saute onions until soft. Add zucchini, eggplant and herbs and cook until soft and lightly browned. Toast pinenuts. Toss together and serve with a bottle of wine, salad and french bread for a healthy, tasty vegetarian dish.....

Bathroom Etiquette

2007-12-29T16:33:00.000-06:00

Some pet peeves of mine regarding bathroom etiquette....
If you are standing at the mirror in a public bathroom, primping, do not try to strike up a conversation with strangers sitting in the stalls trying to do their business. Not only is it distracting, but it is highly annoying. We do not want to talk as we are peeing, or possibly pooping. We are trying our best to be quiet in a bathroom stall that has doors that do not close completely, with "walls" that do not reach the ceiling or the floor. So please refrain from discussing the fucking weather or your woes with strangers while we are trying to do our private business....
If you deem it necessary to have a conversation on your mobile, please do not do so while you are in the stall doing your other business. Again, it is a bit distracting; as you might surmise, we can hear every FUCKING word you are saying, even when we are trying to ignore your boring, whiny conversation. Secondly, it is unsanitary..... Yes friends, talking on your mobile while you are sitting on the toilet is unsanitary. How exactly do you wipe and pull up your pants while holding onto your mobile? Do you have to switch hands, trying to accomplish all of the above?? And if so, what germs reach your mobile and eventually your mouth?? I, myself, wish to avoid having my butt flora in my mouth or my ear.... But maybe you who feel it necessary to "multi-task" while in a public bathroom do not care if your butt flora are eventually in your mouth. I imagine your significant other would not appreciate unknowlingly inheriting your butt flora while kissing you after you were "multi-tasking" in the bathroom.
Lastly, you may not wash your hands after using the bathroom at home... That is your sick perogative. However, if you are in a public bathroom, particularly at a restaurant, show a little bit of respect for your fellow humans and wash your FUCKING hands....
And if you happen to be a member of the waitstaff at a restaurant and it is necessary to plunge a toilet while you are on duty, please, for the love of God, WASH your hands after you have fixed the toilet.... I do not want you serving me my god-damn fucking food after you have been entrenched in toilet plumbing without soaking your hands in some Clorox.... It may be a little idiosyncrasy of mine, but I like to be assured that when I eat out, I will not get salmonella or some other little bug that will wreck havoc on my GI system....

Contemplating life, when I should be sleeping

2007-12-07T22:59:00.000-06:00

Dear Diary,
Yet another semester completed... I do not think that I failed, although the paper I submitted in the wee hours of the morning was shit, complete crap... Because I was too tired to really care, but I did care.. I do care.... A condundrum. It is always a condundrum... Another situation in which I procrastinate, stressing out, smoking too many cigarettes, telling myself that it does not matter... That "B" written in red on my paper pissing me off.... Yet I seek to see my name in publication... Some superficial validation of my supposed intellect, my worth as an individual....
The end of the semester.... Yet another time for reflection about my life. What am I doing? And what do I want to do?? Will I really find myself on the Dark Continent, as I have so hoped? Or will I settle for something less, something that transiently fulfills this deep need of mine to do something, to be someone? Sometimes I want to be that person that is content with living a mundane life, living a life focused only on what she can see around her... Complacent in her suburbian home with her 2.5 children, SUV, and beige home... Oblivious to the world that continues to revolve around something that is not within her landscape of "the house with the white picket fence"....
Maybe it is time to seek out a new adventure.... Maybe it is time to pack up the little creatures that dominate this household and venture someplace where I can break away from this mundanity that has encapsulated my life for the last five years.... But maybe, it is time for me to go to sleep....

Health Care Reform

2007-10-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

How exciting is a debate when both participants inherently sit on the same side of the fence?? What can you really learn about your opposing force when the debaters both are advocates for the same issue?
We attended a healthcare debate Friday, where arguably the most articulate debater was taking the negative perspective on universal healthcare, even though she has implemented a successful socialist model of healthcare in the community. For argument's sake she spoke from the opposing perspective, for lack of a credible voice from the opposition. What materialized was a vapid discussion on the pros and cons of universal healthcare. What was spoken was information that I try to dissiminate in my own discussions on healthcare reform. What I sought was a convincing argument from the opposing force that I could then argue against.
As I sat back in my chair, breathing in the empty air of a mediocre display of a forced give and take of the issues, I realized that such debates need to not take place in a socialist model of healthcare arena, but a truly public forum, in which there are advocates of a privatized healthcare system to generate a true dialogue that expresses the polarities of healthcare reform.
Issues of individual responsibility were proffered by the opposing side amidst hackneyed statistical data from the affirmative regarding the fellatious argument that if every other industrial country is providing universal healthcare, why should not the US. Perhaps the most insightful argument surfaced in the question and answer dialogue was when the question posed regarding physicians' salaries. The con response was that physicians might choose other disciplines if a universal healthcare system was implemented, purportily comprising salaries and expectations; the argument being that physician candidates might choose a different field of endeavor to gain profit. The issue came to mind that is there not a more inherent purpose to become a physician than salary? Personally, I would value a physician who has a higher purpose than financial concerns....
Regarding personal responsibility, the issue was raised about children who cannot make their own choices. The response was a very insincere "Parents make the decisions for their children". Further regarding personal responsibility, the con side voiced that should we be responsible for individuals who have made poor life style choices? I ask "where do you draw the line?" It is a very slippery slope? Choices are made every day that are not defined, but are nevertheless, are insidiously impactful on the health of Americans. Individuals that ignore global warming impact the health of our nation and the globe. Their actions are not as explicit as the individual that smokes, yet their behaviors negatively impact global health. So where do you draw the line??
Perhaps what I have learned from this forum is that the majority believe in a universal healthcare system and that the issue of health is much more complex than access to healthcare and individual responsibility. And lastly, the majority, despite the votes, despise George W. Bush.

Psychogeometrics

2007-08-11T00:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Diary,
What if you are a 37 year old female and you cannot decide what the fuck to do with your life??? You want to pursue your doctoral degree, you want to move to Africa, you want to move to Europe, you think living in Chicago might be pretty fucking cool, you think Greenwich Village might be the place to settle, you want to teach, you want to stay at the medical center at which you are currently employed, because it actually is a pretty awesome place to work??? Are you schizophrenic???
No, it is because you are a squiggle.... Psychogeometrics. I think it explains well the nature of our being, and I AM a squiggle. That is why every six months I find it necessary to change my hair color or cut, to modify my wardrobe, to repaint my house, to decide that buying a house sucks one day and the next day decide that owning my little home is the best thing since 10 dollar bottles of Syrah found their way to my local grocery store. It explains the fickleness with which I live my life. It also explains the creativity and adventure that streams through my body....
I likely will never settle down and have a family, living in suburbia with a beige house and an SUV... Why? Because I am a squiggle. It is what makes Dr. Cocoa Puffs the actress that she is; it is what makes her hubby, Guitar Hero the writer that he is; it is what makes my friend Alec the scientist that he is; it is what makes my friend Chris - Chris. Being a squiggle excuses us from being part of the mundanity that tries to encapsulate us. Squiggles are expected to be eccentric, to live life outside of the norm.
It also explains why I am the person that is writing my paper or finishing my projects 30 minutes before my deadline. Do not deceive yourself. Being a squiggle is not all about fun... The pressure is there.... When your friends, the squares are sitting back enjoying a glass of wine, because they finished their god-damned fucking paper a week before it was fucking due and you have only written one paragraph the night before it was due, do not delude yourself that being a squiggle is the creme brulee. It can be hard work to exemplify your creativity, your brilliance, your genius, when it is 4am and your god-damned fucking paper is due at 9am....
But in the end, being a squiggle is, well it is just brilliant. Because you can excuse any erratic behavior, any late projects, any temperamental mood swings. All you have to say is "I am a squiggle" and people will knowlingly look at you with awe, and think there goes a creative genius. There go I....

Cheers, Skaterbol

Moving to SA

2007-08-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

So a nursing agency in SA has requested to see my CV!! Is it possible? Will I actually have the opportunity to fulfill my dream of returning to the African continent??? The rationale part of me says no. Stay in Kansas City and finish your degree, working in a job that can support your financial needs. The emotional side of me says Go for it... this may be the opportunity that you seek to get out of your 5 year rut, finances be damned.... If I can sell my house and cash in on some of my retirement equity, I might, I just might be able to do this... To go back to the lowveld, climb up to God's Window and sit there looking out upon Kruger National Park, to hike around Bryde National Canyon again, to drive again through Pilgram's Rest, to have a cocktail in Melville, to travel along the Garden Trail, which I did not have the opportunity to do previously, to go to Cape Town and hike up Table Mountain and see the ocean from above, to work with individuals who are HIV+ and try to make a difference in their lives this time ... these are the things I seek to do and hope and wish that this time my dreams are fulfilled....

Dreaming of international endeavors

2007-07-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

Today I applied for a position with the UN. Unlikely that they will even call me, given that the majority of my nursing career has been in the acute care setting. But a girl can dream, can she not? I haven't any idea where I would land, if the UN actually decided that I was a viable candidate... possibly somewhere in Africa??? Switzerland does not seem to be too bad of a choice - I would be closer to Dr. Cocoa Puffs and Guitar Hero, with opportunities to visit them more often. I would also be able to see my dear friend Alec, who decided to up and move to Paris, deserting his friends in the midwest for a more cosmopolitan life in Europe.
I also sent in my application to an agency that has nursing opportunities in South Africa and even looked at housing options in Gauteng and Mpumalanga province. Will they contact me?? Will the opportunity to return to South Africa become a reality rather than a far-fetched dream?? And if the opportunity arose, will I find South Africa the paradise that I envision when I wake up in the morning having dreamt about it all night? Or is it possible that I would return there to only be disillusioned, finding my life there to be a mundane as the life that have I created here in Kansas City??
And what in the hell will I do with these useless, but precious little beings in my house? I cannot imagine that Dr. Cocoa Puffs and Guitar Hero would appreciate it if I shipped not one but three cats to them to share their apartment with Frisk and themselves.... And as none of my other family nor friends appear to desire the aquisition of said cats, I would have bring them with me. I am not sure that one can claim cats as dependents. IF, and that is a big IF, I should receive a callback from the UN or the South African nursing agency, I will find out if they consider small furry four legged creatures dependents. My guess is No.... Just a hunch, just a little bit of intuition here... Will let you know....

2007-07-22T00:05:00.000-05:00

So a couple of things for my dedicated readers....
A) If you should decide to travel to southeast Kansas, recognize that you will need to use a port-a-potty within the city limits of certain towns. They continue to be without water due to the flooding.... Important to note so that you do not appear to be an ignorant dumb-ass from the "city" when you question why the facilities are not functioning INSIDE the local convenience store. And the Big Mama clerk, in a wife beater shirt and cut-offs, behind the register is looking at you with some skepticism because you thought it would be nice to wear your "big city" clothes and heels for your presentation. Recognize as well that small towns support clowns, so when you are getting ready to start your presentation and the board member, a former nurse, introduces herself and her husband, to whom she refers as "he is a clown", you realize that she does not mean he is a "jokester" or "prankster", but a full fledged clown who has attended clown school on the West coast and is ready to supplement your presentation with his own routine....
B) If you have not seen "The Lives of Others", you should.... And I am thinking that my following has most likely already seen this movie, as they are all film buffs. I am not particularly, so when a film takes hold of me, I think that it is worth seeing. That is not to say that everyone will feel the same.... I have not been able to wrap my thoughts around this film. Too many emotions, too many thoughts as I try to piece together all that I saw, all that I captured as I sat watching it. It is one of the best films that I have seen in the last several years. I am hoping that my small but extremely like minded following
:-) share the same sentiments. And will be curious to know their thoughts. What was most interesting to me was the transformation of Wiegler, whose life initially was entrenched in the Stasi and as he began to vicariously live the lives of Dreyman and Christa Maria, his life became very lonely and desolate. What once gave him meaning now became the impetus for subterfuge (is that the correct word???).... And why did not Dreyman seek him out to talk to him rather than dedicating a book to him?? The last scene of the movie.... the smile on his face when he told the clerk that the book was for him...

As It Turns Out, Prozac Unnecessary - I Survived

2007-05-19T21:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Diary,

I have actually survived the first year of my doctoral study. Big deal, no doubt, some of you are wondering. Well, I actually contemplated many times calling in a script for some Prozac or better yet Xanax for myself, but thought that the good ole' DEA might frown upon that. That is how psycho this year has made me feel at times. And the sad thing is that I foisted this crazy year of working full time and going to school full time on myself. No-one else to blame. Just me, stupid, dumbass me.

My cats have been nervous all week wondering why they are not finding me in front of the computer until midnight, cigarettes half-burning in the ashtray, as I frantically try to finish as assignment that is due the next day. Procrastination is my middle name.

But freedom. The sweet taste of freedom.... To read a book that is not titled Psychometric Theory. Okay, I actually did not read much of it. It appears to be written in English, but the paucity of information that I actually understand makes me think that it is another language pretending to be English. To lie in bed on a Saturday morning and savor the laziness, instead of acting like a drill sargent, booting my own ass out of bed to begin yet again another fun-filled day of statistics, theory and measurement principles.

This next semester will hopefully start out a little less hectic, as I was actually smart enough this time to NOT plan a vacation for the first week of classes. Ah, the ocean beckening me to return to Costa Rica.... Maybe some other time, when I do not have 14 chapters and 9 articles to read. When I do not have statistics that is begging to be understood by a person who is most decidely not mathematically oriented.

Cheers,

Skaterbol

Congratulations Dr. Cocoa Puffs

2007-02-11T14:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Diary,
Exciting news on the homefront (well, via Germany)! Dr. Cocoa Puffs starts filming soon. She will actually be in a movie! And maybe become famous. Which means that I might be pictured in People Magazine someday. Way cool.... If left to my own devices, I would never have the opportunity, as I am not the actress type. I cannot act my way out of a lie. Ask my parents. They will tell you about the many times I tried and failed miserably. Anyway, I need to work on my wardrobe and makeup. You cannot be photographed in People Magazine looking like trash. Well, I know Britney does it, but I like to think I have a bit more class....

Why oh why do I not have a boyfriend???

2007-02-08T00:49:00.000-06:00

Dear Diary,
The topic tonight is the lack of ability to meet someone who open to a relationship. I fail to understand why I cannot meet someone who does not run away the minute they perceive the relationship is becoming too serious.... While I am still in the stage of wow... this MIGHT be someone I could potentially date. Do the men I meet have some innate programming that beeps HOLD ON HERE PARTNER, I think that she might actually be interested? after the few initial dates, during which we have a fabulous time???
Am I possibly meeting the wrong types of men, beholden to some past dream of a goddess that does not exist and then they realize that I am a human, subject to many faults that which they do not want do deal?
I suppose life could be worse, i.e., I am fraught with an incurable disease, I have had to declare bankrupty, or I simply am failing a class..., but Jesus Christ, life would be much more exciting if I could actually freaking meet someone who thought that I was the SHIT and acted that way towards me for once.... Is that asking too much???
Skaterbol

Costa Rica

2007-02-02T00:14:00.000-06:00

I have just returned from a fabulous trip to Costa Rica, filled with an excursion to a wildlife sanctuary, kayaking on the river, hitchhiking into the small town of Zancudo, being serenaded by an Italian chef, attempting to boogie board in the surf (one of my near death experiences), flying in a 12 seater over the mountains from San Jose to Golfito (another NDE - I was convinced that said plane was going to go into the mountains, rather than above them), checking into the airport at Golfito, which essentially entailed walking onto the tarmac to a pickup truck where a gentleman had our itenary, and enjoying breakfast at an authentic Costa Rican restaurant, sitting next to the Costa Rican Harley Davidson club. While at the wildlife sanctuary, I met Sweetie, sitting in my lap in the photo, and Lulu, adorable creatures... I think they want me to come back as a volunteer at the sanctuary someday...

2007-01-15T19:47:00.000-06:00

Costa Rica and the beginning of spring semester
Dear Diary,
It is Monday before my big trip to Costa Rica. Very exciting as I have not yet been to Central America. But I would like to know what the fuck I was thinking planning a vacation during the first week of classes. Do we all really think that I am planning to study while on vacation? I dragged my textbooks to Germany in October and only used my statistics text to help me fall asleep on the plane. I figured studying that boring shit would knock me out....
Having honed the art of procrastination, I spent this three day weekend doing absolutely fucking nothing, besides imbibing in three bottles of wine (I did share some with friends), surfing the internet, and watching old movies that I have seen 1000 times. I found my passport this morning and fortunately for me, it expires February 26, 2007, not January 26, 2007, as I was beginning to fear. That would have been a fucking fabulous start to the new year. Plan a trip for the past six months with friends and find out that your passport has expired during the time that you are overseas. I could have stayed in Costa Rica... I am constantly barraged with emails boasting how cheap real estate is there. But alas, my three useless cats have not learned how to take care of themselves and none of my friends seem that keen on adopting any of them.
I as well found out today that there is indeed an internet cafe on the island on which I will be staying - it may be too much to ask that there is dsl and not dial-up or I might be spending more time at the cafe than on the beach. Another clusterfuck has been averted. I cannot imagine that my professors would have been too sympathetic to late submission of projects when I told them I planned said vacation for the beginning of the semester.
And to all of you MU fans out there that might read this posting... KU is going to kick your ass tonight!!
Cheers, Skaterbol

2007-01-05T18:13:00.000-06:00

Hey all you MoFos (the three that read my blog) Happy belated New Years! The new year was happily rung in at 4451 Cambridge with Dr. Cocoa Puffs, her hubby Guitar Hero, and myself playing a shitty game of trivial pursuit. Yours truly did not get any pies, and unfortunately was not even drunk at that point. Guitar Hero certainly enjoyed himself before the witching hour, but Dr. Cocoa Puffs and yours truly caught up quite nicely.
If any of you MoFos find yourself in the KC area, I have opened a cozy B & B in the basement. Amenities include a nonfunctioning handie, coffee maker, and at this point flat champhagne. For those of you who seek the comfort creatures in life, we will provide clean, fuzzy towels and an antiquated quilt, hand sown by our demented grandmother.
The new year thus far has brought incontinent cats (anyone interested in acquiring said cat, I will be more than happy to send her to you postage free); a morning weight greater than I have seen in years. Ole Dr. Cocoa Puffs is skinnier than I now, the bitch and looking good, I might add; and the impending spring semester in which I will be partaking in multivariate statistics. If any of my small, but intelligent following, has that mathematical finesse, your assistance is greatly appreciated. As your reward I will send you a cat.
Skaterbol

2006-11-11T23:07:00.000-06:00

Big Box Mart... Corporate shopping at its best...

www.jibjab.com/originals/originals/jibjab/movieid/122

2006-11-09T21:16:00.000-06:00

More pics from Germany... The photo of the bear... let me just say that Dr. Cocoa Puffs and I were a bit disconcerted how often he kept looking our way...
Frisk and Guitar Hero. As you can see she is excited about the hat...
Dr. Cocoa Puffs, my awesome sis, and I at the Pegasus Hostel, great place to stay in Berlin. I look like a dumb ass... well, most of the time I act like a dumb ass, so it is possible this photo reflects the true me.

2006-11-07T17:44:00.000-06:00

"There is where we walked, swam, hunted, danced and sang. Take a picture here; take a souvenir." - R.E.M., Track 1.
Memories of Dr. Cocoa Puffs, Guitar Hero, Satria, and Amy in Germany.

2006-11-07T17:43:00.000-06:00

Dear Diary,
Having recently returned from visiting Dr Cocoa Puffs and guitar hero in Germany, I see the perks of living there. Coffee shops, pubs, cafes within minutes of one's home. But better yet, people walk. Yes Kansas Citians, people use their feet as a method of transportation. Being one of the few Kansas Citians that walks to work, I appreciate that there are other countries in which pedestrians outnumber motorists. Why do I care, you ask? Well besides nearly being run over as I am crossing the street (people making that right turn on the red light often neglect to look my way), I have had the lovely experience of verbal abuse as I am walking down the street. Several months ago, as I was minding my own damn business on the way to the hospital, some dumb bitch yelled out her window as she was tooling down the road in HER CAR "Why don't you get a fucking car!" !!! Why don't I get a fucking car? Why don't I get a fucking car? Where did this hostility arise and why was it directed at me? Why doesn't this stupid bitch get out of her car and walk?
Alas, I don't speak a word of German. I can't even really convey that other than smile and nod and look to Dr Cocoa Puffs and guitar hero for assistance. So fellow Kansas Citians I am here to stay, at least until I learn another language.
Skaterbol